What do I look for in a video game?

I’m super picky with video games, which is absurd, since I have no experience whatsoever. I’d like to see how I’ll branch out in the next few months. Will I be able to overcome my fear of open worlds and bazookas? We shall see. This is what I look for in a video game at the moment.

Beautiful design – It might be an atrocious way to go about it, but if I have to spend three hundred hours of my life playing somehing, I need to be able to look at it and always find it appealing. I am always attracted to games that look drawn rather than computer-generated. They obviously are, duh, but I do prefer cartoonish visuals to hyper-realistic ones.

Does anyone remember Golden Sun for Game Boy Advance? That game was flawless.
Does anyone remember Golden Sun for Game Boy Advance? That game was flawless.

A set story and a small world – I steer clear of stuff like Skyrim because I know that I would have a panic attack after five minutes. I’ve always loved games like Pokémon because there is a narrative, a sequence in which things need to be done and relatively little space for movement and personalization. It’s fair enough if you love them, but open-world games would have me do nothing istead of everything because I would be paralyzed by the sheer number of choices. I wouldn’t even be able to pick a race for my character.

Rayman, the original one: you move left to right and THAT'S IT. Fabulous. My brother and I got extremely competitive and he was way better than me.
Rayman, the original one: you move left to right and THAT’S IT. Fabulous.
My brother and I got extremely competitive and he was way better than me.

Badass women – I know, this is the story of my life. Still, nothing makes me happier than a female protagonist and, in general, an outlook on gender that doesn’t make me barf.

No first person/realistic violence – I know you all love that stuff, but it makes me sicker than a Gillian Flynn novel. I don’t like violence and I don’t think I would be able to slay people, albeit digital (she said, six months before becoming obsessed with Assassin’s Creed).

The tiny humans in Civilization V are totally fine though. My favourite victory is the one where you conquer all the other civilizations. Peace out.
The tiny humans in Civilization V are totally fine though. My favourite victory is the one where you destroy all the other civilizations. Peace out.

No sports – Do you remember that time I took a Sports Journalism class? I still can’t believe that I passed it with a decent grade. Anyway: that was the time that I established I will never ever have anything to do with sports I dislike unless I really have to. I live with a person who plays Football Manager or Fifa almost 24/7, which makes it pretty hard, but I do try.

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